Childhood Trauma

How should I start this fucking thing? My name is Colin and I had a shitty childhood.

Whenever I see people reminisce over stuff like High School Musical or Hannah Montana, I become filled with so much rage. It’s not even funny.

I was raised in a conservative Christian household as a child. That basically meant I wasn’t allowed to watch anything. No Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, or Cartoon Network. It was either Smile of a Child or a bunch of low-budget, direct-to-video crap my parents forced me to watch. Only on special occasions, I was allowed to watch Disney movies.

During the weeks preceding my eighth birthday, my fellow classmates were talking about some Disney movie called Starstruck. At first, I didn’t know what they were discussing, so I asked them what the hell they were talking about anyway. One of them told me that it was an upcoming Disney Channel movie starring Sterling Knight. Unlike other actors, I actually knew who he was since he was on Sonny With a Chance. That was a show I watched sometimes whenever I slept over at a friend’s house. That and iCarly were the two shows that I watched even though I wasn’t allowed to. My parents didn’t actually have issues with Sonny with a Chance. They were only concerned about me being “taught” antisocial behavior. God, I cannot believe how ridiculous these people actually were.

When I asked my mom for a DVD of Starstruck, she replied with her usual, “I’ll see what I can do”. I asked my dad, who then said the same exact thing. When you’re a child, you aren’t aware of things like how complicated adulthood really is.

On my eighth birthday, I didn’t actually receive the DVD I’d asked for. However a few days later, I went upstairs and into my bedroom. On my bed was a DVD labeled “Starstruck” in gold font and stars all over. The whole thing was covered in gold, even its translucent case!

(Next: I get Starstruck DVD, not real one, actually possessed)